Osteopath..

So my neck has locked itself again. This time Marius drove me to the ER, sounds worse than it is. I got some pills and the doctor said that I have to go to an Osteopath, so I had my first appointment there today at 11.30am. And I have to go back at 3pm today.

He says that it's stress related to my stomach problems. And as it dawned on me while I was talking with him, the Osteopath, it's all on my right side. The neck pains, back pains, hip pain and stomach. So he told me to lower my shoulders and chill out! For you who knows me, that's a little bit of a problem right there really. My inside's going around like a washing machine, twirl and twirls like an hurricane on speed! So I'm guessing he's right.

Alright, I do stress with a few things, but ain't that normal? Tell me - What's going around in your brain?

I've been trough a lot in my life, but that isn't an excuse to stress about things. And I know I think a lot, sometimes maybe a little bit too much for my own sake. I also have these discussions with myself.
- How often do you have an conversation with yourself, out loud?
I'm thinking this is something everybody does from time to time. Maybe some more often than others.

Alright I've been thinking about a lot and when I open my mouth and listen to myself it's sometimes weird hearing what's coming out. Because at times there's absolutely no control over what's coming. Just like here, I write about everything that pops up in my head. No need to plan this or something else if that matter. It all comes in it's own way. Nevertheless it's all a big question mark when it comes to analyzing me. But to make this easy for you who try, I'm easy like that. It's all about giving and receiving. When I feel appreciated I'm there always and forever. But do me wrong and it will take time before I take you in again. For all the times I've been treated wrong it takes equal amount to do it right again. So it's not you it's just all of it, the baggage. I might struggle with leaving things behind. My bad memories follow me wherever I go. And as time goes on, you'll get to know my deep dark secrets. But that takes some time. I do not open myself to others so often. Not because I don't trust you, it's because I'm afraid of being left alone. I'm guessing it's something that's connected with my early child hood.
I do get sad when people leave, for different reasons, I think it's heartbreaking when I have to say goodbye to someone I care for! And I take people in fast. As my nature does it easily I do get attached fast. But I can move on as easily as I got myself into it!

yeah, I see it clearly now! My mind just, swoosh, and it's gone. Just looking back at what's written here.. Hehe.. Anyways, I have to get going to my Osteopath.. So we'll speak later!

But it's all LOVE!!!




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