Is It You..

Why are things complicated, or is it really? Is it just that I am not used to things being easy. Is it that in my life there has always been struggle. So now when the pieces just fit it is hard to take it for what it is worth.

Will this then be my underground? My self digging struggle between what is reality and what is not. I am not sure what is what. But in the end I just have to trust the people around me. And believe that their intentions are good. Because if I do think otherwise I just get sad and hurt. But I have becoming extremely good at shutting things out. Like my feelings and people. I always had this conclusion that it is best to just move on. So I do. But sometimes I do judge a situation a little bit to fast. So I have to learn this. I see myself from outside and think why do I think these thoughts. It has never been my strongest side, showing my feelings and letting others know what I feel.

So this snaps me back to reality, it is cold and harsh. But it is hard for me to see the real you sometimes. Because my mind play these tricks on me. Like putting ideas in my head that are non existing. This is where I see why the people I know say that I am complicated. It is not something I choose to be. I try and try not to. But there is somethings that I just can not control. I am working with myself on this subject, so I am aware. And I know that it is something that will pass.

But sometimes I just feel left out. I get this feeling of not belonging anywhere. I do not like this. It gives me headaches and makes me sad and locked down. And when I do do this, go inside myself I see all the things that are bad. Yes, I do still love myself like I wrote earlier. Now more than ever. I am also more secure in myself. And I do know what I am capable of. But some people just do not see this I guess. My Insecurity and doubts. Because from the outside I am an independent lady with a voice that is heard. I have these meanings that would irritate a stone. But do not use this against me. I do, and I can swear on this. Accept people for who they are. I would never change a person nor would I want someone to be like me. I like the unique mix of people. The small things that makes you you. I just want this to work out. Now that I finally feel kind of complete. It gives me a satisfaction and peace inside that I have been searching for.

There is to much inside this head of mine from time to time. But when time passes and you learn to know me this will not be a problem. Even so it is not a problem now I know that. I just need conformations. Not all the time. Yes, and I do know that you can never promise anything for sure. But just the knowing of that it is you!


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