Is it me..

I keep wondering about all the incidents in life. Is it all written i stone? Are things happening for a reason. Do we meet people and miss out on stuff because there is a bigger meaning to it all?

I know that things happens because it is suppose to happen. But there is detours in life that make things go slower or just take another turn. But is it luck or is it what it is? This is a question that comes up from time to time. Whether you believe in faith or not. It will always go trough your mind once or more. I have to say that I do believe that things do happen for a reason. So think on that.
My mind do change itself some times, but in the end I am always left with the thought that it is what it is. I truly think that we end up in the situations we are suppose to be in. All the settings and people around you help us on our way. But in the end we are making our own destiny. So can you really make a person love you?

I have heard stories about girls who has literary thrown themselves after the person they want. And they have ended up with that certain someone too. But is that real love? Is it for ever? All these questions, but no one to answer them for me. I believe that in life you and I will get many chances to fall in love. To have a person that will accept you for who you truly are and love everything about you. I also know that this can take time, but like I said before, my patient sucks big time! With my wandering heart and mind I move on and forget what i feel. But someone who makes me feel real, that is what I am looking for. Never the less a person who will let me know that I am the one. I am from "The Sex And the City" generation. And in despite of stamping on some toes, we ladies are a mix of them ladies. In one we are all a little bit of everything. The thing is that I just want to fit in, somewhere, anywhere. Without having people questioning me and me questioning myself if I am acting like I should.
So if we could just fuck the game a little bit, be honest and sincere and then go back to the game with an new look on everything. It is easier to play a game, give it all if you know for sure. Not that I need the " I-love-you-till-death-do-us-part" part. Just the it-is-you-for-now-lets-see-whats-happens part. It would just be nice to have someone. But it is the "coulda, woulda, shoulda".

And oh, yes, I wrote earlier that I like someone, I still do. But I am kind of in a weird state of mind. I have this thing about rushing things in my head. And guess what, it is starting to take a part out of me. I lose myself, forget where I am from and who I really am. But this time around I will play the game. Because it is exciting and mysterious. So the ball is rolling and there is no way no one can stop it! I see this and know that it will fuck things up, not only things, but myself as well. But why live the life without the excitements and the games that comes with it. And I must say that in the end, loving someone it is the best thing in the whole world!

Sex, you can have with anybody. Real love is a secret thing. But you can not rush love...


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