Beauty or just plain amazing?

When we live in this world, it's easy to forget what's going on with mother nature sometimes. And when you see pictures like this it's straight up amazing that this even exists on our planet!

And these days are good days, like the summer's around the corner and the days are longer. I love that the sun's finally found it's way back on the sky and brighten up my days. Not that my mood is bad these days. How can it be with a man like you by my side Marius? With all the things in this world that goes wrong it's the judging of an situation before you really know whats going on easy sometimes. But oh so wrong to do. If we could remove something this should be one of those things. Don't judge a book by it's cover you know. And this goes for countries as well. So if you think to yourselves that this isn't a country for me or to see. Think again and goo see, experience new things, meet new people. Learn some things, live a little and don't regret the things you didn't do!




Copyright © 2009 Lady AhY

Wintertime turns into summertime..

What do I know? I'll tell you that things aren't always what they seems like. Sometimes you'll be surprised what others say and do. I've been taken this time and it's for real. I've even open myself up or I'm on the way to.

You really amaze me. I'm thinking you are for real because of your actions. I do get it now I guess. And yes, the talk we had this morning brought us closer like you said. I've now open up my heart for you to see and the real me is out. And I must say that this just feels right. No pressure though! And love that you came back in the afternoon and made dinner for us.. I see it clearer now!

This night I'm spending at Blindern, "babysitting", because it is a gathering for the students sport something. So here I am with a OSI Basketball player, Eric Ballester. We just sit here and wait for the people to come home. Nothing happening, so we just chill. And then the hour just went.. So now it's summertime..




Copyright © 2009 Lady AhY

Intimacy

Why is it that we always question others. Isn't trust something that should be there unsaid? It's hard to be honest about how you feel and open your heart completely to another person.

From time to time a lady finds herself thinking and contemplating about life, money, work, love, friends and family, but mainly just life. I can't help but wonder if it's really different this time around. I don't feel different at all. I feel like one of those kids in this ad for an Norwegian website, how to help people with psychological problems. Like, "I'm having troubles, wish we could talk about it."

So as you get I'm having something on my mind. It's all just stirred up at the moment, in my head I'm having all these thoughts and things. And it's difficult to connect with myself. I'm having problems with letting people in under my skin. I'm so afraid that I'll lose someone again. I'm guessing my sorrow and sadness finally is catching up with me. I've had a few bumps in the road over the years, but it's no excuse. Though it could be a explanation on why things are like they are now. With me having intimacy problems. This isn't only in the love matter, but in every matter!

I'm afraid of losing someone that means something to me. I've lost a lot of people in my life who I love and will always do. And there's a lot of things that has been unsaid. I just hope they know how much they mean to me. I know now how afraid I am to lose the people that still are in my life. That I literary "push" them away with intention, so I won't be hurt or sad.
And up in all this I've fallen and this is the best thing.. And he's a good one or..?




Copyright © 2009 Lady AhY

Live it, learn it..

Celebrate good times, come on!

So I thought the spring was here for real, but NAH, the snow came back again! And this weekend when we're gonna set time to summertime. It's wrong, oh so wrong! But I won't cry for that. It probably means that the summer will be even hotter and longer, so I'm optimistic and happy. And focusing on other things, like food and travel. Two of my greatest love in life, except for love itself.




Copyright © 2009 Lady AhY

Change of dress..

It's fucked up, the balance. So it's best to stay away from this challenge. With hesitation I'm withdrawing and playing it cool.

Maybe it's time for some changes in life, mix it up a little again. Maybe this ain't what it is, because it's all in my head. Get back control a little. Nevertheless enough it's enough and here's when I say hold up! So where it's easy for others it's maybe hard for me. Letting people in under my skin and see the real me it's not easy. I admire my friend Lena for this, just opening herself as a book for everyone to see. I'm better with the jokes and letting you believe that you know me. And when things gets to serious I just withdraw and disappear. It's not nothing I do on purpose, it just happens.
A little ambivalent some would say..




Copyright © 2009 Lady AhY

Love..

We all fall sometimes. But when you fall in love it's different. You lose control when you wish you had it.

So when you finally, after everything do fall in love with someone that falls back in love with you, keep them close. Let them know how you feel. There's a lot of things left unsaid between people, because of the insecurities and the "I'm-afraid-of". But maybe it's just like ripping of an band aid, quick and stinging? So what if you've never taken a shot at love? What have you really missed out on? Heartbreaks, lonely nights, wondering what the other person are doing, jealousy and anger are some. But if you turn it around you've missed out on the jumping heartbeats, smiling when you get a text or when you think of that person, cake, love, happiness, intimacy and the good feeling of loving someone. No it's not a bad thing this thing we call love, it's just a bit tricky to figure out. And in the end you just want to be with someone that makes you laugh..




Copyright © 2009 Lady AhY

GG

Human Trafficking!

I woke up this morning, turned on the TV and came over a Dr. Phil show. It was about human trafficking and it made my stomach turn! Damn these people, it's so fucked up! Who can someone sell a child for money and sex? How is this possible?

This is something that's going on your own country peoples. And these men can be your neighbors or someone you know! THIS IS JUST SO WRONG!! How can someone do this? What if it was your own child. How would that make you feel? I can't find words to describe how disgusting and sick this make me feel. But it's not making it better to criminalize the victims here. They don't choose this life. It's forced on them. These children are runaways, looking for a better life or been "promised" the world! Please don't fall for that! The grass isn't always greener on the other side. I know that life's hard and unfair some times!
Take this in and put the people behind trafficking in JAIL!!!

"Make your life a hit, don't wait for your life to make the hit". Rev. RUN




Copyright © 2009 Lady AhY

Drink drankety drunk..

I woke up early this morning after an night out with Siw at John's. We thought it was the place to be on an empty Friday at SIRKUS. After I was there with Marius and his hockey buddies, Manglerud Star last Sunday. They had their last game this season and celebrated that they're in the elite series. And they're good!

I must say to you ladies who wonder where all the guys are, they're at John's! I didn't know this as I haven't been there as much. To be honest it's an "hidden-secret". And we had a blast! Siw even got to make out with a marine! This was a great one girl! Though I missed my man there, he's away at Geilo skiing and whatnot with Per Arne. So I get this weekend to hook it up with my other man Edo Ra! It's been a while since we last got our drank on, so tonight we're on!

And I must say, that after feeling blue. Right down sad and missing my dad, feeling like there's no one here for me. I've opened up to my friends and myself, being more honest about how I really feel. And I've realized that it's OK to not smile. I had to been told that I can be myself and that others appreciate it. It's hard to see that some times. To see that I matter to others. I like to be the one that's here for other people, so in the mix it's easy to forget myself and my own feelings. But I'm guessing being here in my own shell is good for me, connecting with my feelings and love myself. And with this wisdom comes knowledge.
So prepared for the new and improved me!!




Copyright © 2009 Lady AhY

Here again..

I can't believe that I feel that I'm back here again. I thought it was different this time around. Where did I go wrong or am I wrong?

Never before you open your heart and soul to a person you probably think to yourself, why? But we do this because we believe in love and want to be loved. The thing we forget in the mix is to love ourselves. So why is this so freaking hard?
And just when you get one thing in your head faith come knocking on your door. In my case, the phone and then the door. Sometimes I judge an situation or a person to fast. In this I'm thinking I might did that, because you aren't a bad one. You're actually one of the good guys! And I'm so happy to have you in my life. I know that having you isn't something that I should take for granted. And be sure that I don't!

Nevertheless it's weekend again and this time around it's dancing time...





Copyright © 2009 Lady AhY

I'm having a hard time...

When things get tough it's easy to see who's here and who's not. Like for me it takes pretty much for me to tell the truth about how I'm really feeling on the inside. For you who think you know, let me just say - YOU DON'T!

This sounds really fucked up, but it's because on my inside I am! For all of you who think that because a person smiles, they have to be happy. No, it's a mask, like the answer we all give to the question, how are you? Oh, I'm good. If you really care for someone, you know that if that person give that answer every time, somethings up! And if you don't care - just shut up. Don't ask or even give them the intention that you do. Because it hurts even more, the feeling that someone pretend to care how you feel.

And for the time being things should be better, because of the sun and with spring around the corner. But in reality I think it's all just shit! Because in the end you only got yourself and I'm seeing this clearer every day..




Copyright © 2009 Lady AhY

New week..

To kick of week 12 with!

Some things..

So this is it, is it over now? What will you do when I'm not around anymore? Is that when the cats come out to play? Sometimes I wish that I didn't care, but just went on with my life like there's nothing else to it. Like I did before.

I miss the days of not caring, just fly away with the wind. The life I lived when I was in Thailand. But it's seems like it never has happened. It's eight years ago now, man! I just want to sell everything and leave, live the life I'm supposed to under the sun with the smiling people. So come on, lets do this for real. No regrets or u turns, just take a leap of faith! I believe that we'll do good, because it's you and me. No fucking doubts, just take the sun and go with it! There's no whatever, I do care and you know that. So don't jerk me around. I'm serious, for once in my life I'm actually sure that this is whats right.

I'm sick of the maybe-we're-gonna-do-this, I want action, fireworks and our dreams to come true! So here I am, catch me if you can and if you can't, set me free...

I don't belong here, so lift your wings and experience the world with me!




Copyright © 2009 Lady AhY

Why..

I wish for things to work out, just get in to place and be. I'm not good with closeness. I'm so afraid of being left out in the cold. Like now, when I'm sitting here alone thinking about the fact that I'm lonely. Yes, I have friends, family etc. But there's still something missing. A person that wants to stop and smell the roses with me. Where's there no doubts, questions and wondering about what the hell is going on.

Man, I fucked this up royally! And for what? Why try to fix something that's not broken? Shouldn't I know this by now, that the question section just fucks it all up! So now it's all shifted, like the air is lifted in some way we're drifted. And when did I get so unsure or is it my intuition that's looking out for me.

Do you ever feel lonely?

Still waiting and I'm starting to see that we, and when I say we I mean us ladies, always wind up waiting.. I'm guessing it's time to do something, change something and get on with the living!

I'm sitting in my apartment this Saturday night and watching Sex And The City and still I LOVE it!!

Who'll be here to catch me when I fall?




Copyright © 2009 Lady AhY

When the night turns to day...

"I've been waiting for you like a girl!"
Is this how it is, does the girls always wait? You guys should really get your ass out of your face if you think that we always wait for you.

Yes we do wait, but not forever. We won't just sit here and not take control. The thing is, if you really want to keep your lady happy and satisfied, don't leave her hanging! Because that's when we shift focus. Our minds play tricks on us and if we are alone long enough we only see what we see. So I say just get out there and play the field, don't let anything stop you and don't spend your time waiting for something that might happen. Lately things has come back, like different incidents and situations. Yes, I've found out that nothing really hasn't change, I'm the same. So maybe it's time to do something about this, to change the outcome. Or should I patiently wait and see what's up?

Yesterday I was out with Angie, we danced, drank and had a blast. Then I got on the sms and that's when it went wrong. After 15 sms and an search for Marre I found him at last. We danced, made out and I met some from his hockey team. It was when we walked home things turned. Because I can't shut up, I'm to nosy, damn! Wish I sometimes had the control, but I lost it now. When I opened the "box"! I got a few answer that I didn't like I remember, but still it can be that I remember wrong because I have an tendency to remember negative things. But I can't bring myself to ask again. So now I'm withdrawing back into my own space. And you know where to find me! It ain't that hard. But I felt my heart break a little. I'm not so good at saying what I really mean, because I like to have an backup plan. So there it is, my truth and me! Though I remember that it's only me in your life now. I cannot bring myself to ask if it's me. And when the night shifts to day it all gets another color. So I'm sticking, call it childish or whatever, I don't care anymore. That's what I'm saying to myself anyway. So believe what you want.

There's nothing a lady wouldn't do for her man if she loves him enough. And if a man likes a lady enough there's nothing stopping him from being with here. So when you hear otherwise, you know what's coming. I do believe in love and that we all get to experience being loved. But you still have to open yourself for this to happening. You have to be vulnerable and let that person in. This isn't easy if your me. No no no!

Maybe it's all a fairytale, like one day I'll wake up and see that it didn't happen. That it's all a dream. How do you get it all?

I just wanna leave everything behind, sell and go see the world! So maybe this is what's having it all means. Not being tied down to anything or anyone. Are we really made for relationships or is it that we just pursue it because everybody does it? Are we happy when we are a twosome? Here comes the question, deal with it! I shouldn't have open my mouth, but I do this to see the real you! Nevertheless it is the real me you still have left to see. I'm not sure if anyone has seen the real me when I think about it. Maybe it's not meant to be shown. Or maybe you all who read see the real me. I don't know how you see me, in fact I don't know how anybody sees me...




Copyright © 2009 Lady AhY

A bit...

Ben Franklin once said, "In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes."
Life is not a race. Take it slower. Hear the music before the song is over!!

Often I hear that I'm weird, but in a good way. I'm not really sure what that means, but I'm guessing it means that I'm different. Are we labeled? Why is it that we often thrive after recognition from others? I must say that in the light of the day things and situations often change. And with the moon as well, we people change. It's like there's someone pushing us over or into a path that we normally wouldn't take. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?

I wish for you all to get a little bit of an insight in what's going on and maybe tell me how it's around the world. Because I've seen that there are readers from all around the world. Hello to you all! Wish you well and happiness!

So when this is said I'm back on the theme of love again. not because I'm so good at it, but because it's whats important to me. As for me to know my heritage and background. Yes, it's a little bit tricky knowing the truth when you're adopted from the other side of the world. But I still think about this. I have friends and a man whom are adopted, as well as my sister. But it isn't everybody that let this play a roll in their life. Some accept that they're in another country and others spend their life looking for answers. For the parents this can be hard, I know, but it's nothing personal. I'm thinking that you should be supportive and learn about theirs heritage together with them. This might create an closer bond between you and your children. This goes for biological children as well, it should be mandatory to teach your kids about their heritage. In others cultures they teach you everything about where you're from, how to cook, raise children, be proud and how to treat others with respect. Here in the Scandinavia some of this seems lost in translation.

When it comes to love its all just a blur. Whats right seems wrong and whats wrong seems right. And whether you're a man or a woman it's hard to find someone to stay in the foxhole with. But when you've finally found the one you could see yourself with it's not just easy. You have to work for it, put in time and effort for the other person. But still remember to don't lose yourself in the mix. It often happen without you even noticing it. Suddenly you change into a pod! Be aware and keep your eyes open for another "relationsmare". And watch out for the freaky Friday men, you never know where or when they appear!



"Carrie: Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous."




Copyright © 2009 Lady AhY

Sunshine

Finally it's here, spring and the sun! Loving this, hoping it'll stay like this until summertime. It can't go back now when it's this good.

So with spring comes fling or is it that the fling fits to all seasons? I'm asking you all around the world because I'm curious about how you look at this season. Nevertheless what you think about "flinging". Is it OK to chat with others online when you're in a relationship or do you look at that as being unfaithful?

I'm not the jealous kind, but be honest and take the consequences like a man! I don't accept dishonesty and backstabbing. If you got something to say, say it to my face. FYI this is not an attempt to attach any of you, it's just me and my pms'ing. And it's not pretty at all. But it's a thing we ladies got trough when it's 1-2weeks until our menstruation. So just bare with us, it doesn't last for more than a couple of days. And this is the time for you guys to give your lady an extra little something. It doesn't has to be big...
It's all about love...




Copyright © 2009 Lady AhY

Spring

For about five months I've been waiting for the sunshine. Not that I don't like snow, it's all the clothes that we have to wear. So when the air suddenly changes and the light's back on the sky I'm happier and more open to what's coming to me.

Though the last days has been kind of stressful, because of different things like money, work and negativity in some people. It's cool and we're on the right track of life. I've also learned that guys don't care about nail polish and especially black. Not that that's important, but hey it's a news flash for some.

But for the time being I'm happy. Though I read somewhere that when all comes to all, you can only trust yourself. So when I sit here at Blindern and wait for the spring I eat...




Copyright © 2009 Lady AhY

Coulda, woulda, shoulda...

How is it that we women let a man control our lives? Just when you thought you brought back your independence another person takes it away. Nevertheless does it get easier along the way.

When you're young it's all just fun and games. But when the years go, you get more responsibility and things to take into consider. Never before you suddenly find yourself in a cul de sac, your life just make a 360 and swoosh you're back to square one again.
Not that every man is an asshole, most men aren't. But sometimes you meet a guy that takes the optimism away from you. Makes you unsure and set your self esteem to zero! So getting back in the game can be a little difficult at times.

It's Sunday and my man is playing hockey, Manglerud Star against Furuset in Furuset Ice hall. It's play off to the Elite series. So GO MS!! I should have been at the game this evening, but I'm broke. So I follow the game online, like a true sport jock! Next Sunday is the last match and it's home in Manglerud Ice hall against Kongsvinger at 5pm. It's a go see!
And on TV every Sunday night at 6pm you'll see Americas Best Dance Crew Season 1 at MTV - OH SO GOOD!

But as I've been told that the men wants their ladies to stay the same as the day they met them. Because that is the person they fell for, not as some ladies who wants their man to be someone else. But if you manage to just chill, enjoy and it all falls into place. You can't change a man! Look around and think about your friends, you love them for who they are, not for who you want them to be! This is how it should be!




Copyright © 2009 Lady AhY

Love...

It's hard this life and if that's not enough we have to concur this thing we call love. We all look for it and when we've found it we complain. Ain't there no end to this story?

Nevertheless I have girlfriends who really wants their boyfriends to be more like they want to. But why are you together with someone you wanna change? That isn't right, is it? Or is it that you change a person or change into a person. It's not that you should want to do this, but yes there are situations where you would love the other person to do it a little different.

But why is it so hard to tell them what you want? The insecurity is now a fact. From my point of view I can see how things are with others, but when it comes to my own life it's hard. Is it that we pay for our mistakes in the next relationships? We ladies have our own way seeing what's what in this world. But we want you to see and get what we want without telling you. I get that this can be disturbing and unclear. But just give us a hint, about what's going on. Do the small romantic stuff, surprise us, send cute texts, take us out on dates and let us know that we mean something.

If you're out for fun, be honest about.

But I throw in the towel now, it's late and tomorrow it's a new day and I have an audition for Ragga Team Norway...

XoxoX




Copyright © 2009 Lady AhY

The game...

I've been following The L World on TV3 the last Mondays, but when I got home yesterday there was no L World, but Sex and The City instead.

It's been a long time since I saw SATC! And I must say - I've forgotten how much I miss that show. So now I'm once again addicted to SATC. It's good for us ladies that we have that show. It helps a bit, seeing that there are others out there with the same issues (yes I know it's a TV-show) that me and my ladies got. Though in my case there's not so much issues as my own fault probably.

I've got this thing with thinking to much and it's not narrowed down to just one thing, it's everything! Man sometimes my brain just hurts from all the thinking. But as long as I've been only me, it's been cool (almost). But I still do think a lot and some might say unnecessary. Wherever your heart is where you'll find your treasure!

So this game peoples, what's up with this? I've never really been a good player. Do I have to follow the rules, are there rules?
And why isn't there a manual? Can someone please enlighten me, and tell me these rules?




Copyright © 2009 Lady AhY

I do...

I do miss you, even though I don't express my feelings. But just to show you that I'm not heartless. I'm gonna tell you all how it is..

Honestly I feel lonely. There's something missing in my life. Like having someone that asks me if I'm alright. Taking the time to really show me that they care. Not that I don't believe that no one does. But there's so much that I want to talk about. If I dared I would let my guard fall. If you had the time, I would tell you how I really feel inside. My heart hurts and I'm sad. It's hard to admit this, but it's the truth. But it's hard for me to trust people. Not that you are not trustworthy, but I have a hard time opening myself to others! So now I'm in a bad place and I just want this to go away. I wish that I could just pick up the phone and call you and tell you this. But it's not that easy. What if you don't care? Why is it hard for me to understand if you're for real?

I'm thinking sometimes if it's all me. Because I'm flaky and all over the place. Never have I felt like I had a home or belonged anywhere. But now I got these feelings for you and I'm afraid to tell you. Because I'm scared that you don't want the same. Even though I believe you do.. I just want you to get this. That it's things inside me that I need to talk about. I have a side of myself that just a few of you've seen.
So even though I always smile, I'm not happy. Very often I'm sad, but as I think of this as a sign of weakness I never show this side to you or anyone for that matter. So when I say I don't care I often do. I see it clearly now, this complicated side some of you have mentioned before. But I wish for you to get this. Let me be a part of your life and take a part in mine. So this is why I easily move on without looking back. I don't let myself get to attached to anything. So when I do I often pretend like I don't care. And I've become a master in not letting anyone in! And this hurts now! It's not that I don't want to, It's that I don't believe you want to.. And I know that's wrong, but my mind's set that way.

So this is why I don't believe... Because no one has yet figured out my code.. Or is it that I've never let anyone close enough?

It hurts when someone you love die - so to all of you who lost someone close to you, my thoughts go to you!




Copyright © 2009 Lady AhY