When the night turns to day...

"I've been waiting for you like a girl!"
Is this how it is, does the girls always wait? You guys should really get your ass out of your face if you think that we always wait for you.

Yes we do wait, but not forever. We won't just sit here and not take control. The thing is, if you really want to keep your lady happy and satisfied, don't leave her hanging! Because that's when we shift focus. Our minds play tricks on us and if we are alone long enough we only see what we see. So I say just get out there and play the field, don't let anything stop you and don't spend your time waiting for something that might happen. Lately things has come back, like different incidents and situations. Yes, I've found out that nothing really hasn't change, I'm the same. So maybe it's time to do something about this, to change the outcome. Or should I patiently wait and see what's up?

Yesterday I was out with Angie, we danced, drank and had a blast. Then I got on the sms and that's when it went wrong. After 15 sms and an search for Marre I found him at last. We danced, made out and I met some from his hockey team. It was when we walked home things turned. Because I can't shut up, I'm to nosy, damn! Wish I sometimes had the control, but I lost it now. When I opened the "box"! I got a few answer that I didn't like I remember, but still it can be that I remember wrong because I have an tendency to remember negative things. But I can't bring myself to ask again. So now I'm withdrawing back into my own space. And you know where to find me! It ain't that hard. But I felt my heart break a little. I'm not so good at saying what I really mean, because I like to have an backup plan. So there it is, my truth and me! Though I remember that it's only me in your life now. I cannot bring myself to ask if it's me. And when the night shifts to day it all gets another color. So I'm sticking, call it childish or whatever, I don't care anymore. That's what I'm saying to myself anyway. So believe what you want.

There's nothing a lady wouldn't do for her man if she loves him enough. And if a man likes a lady enough there's nothing stopping him from being with here. So when you hear otherwise, you know what's coming. I do believe in love and that we all get to experience being loved. But you still have to open yourself for this to happening. You have to be vulnerable and let that person in. This isn't easy if your me. No no no!

Maybe it's all a fairytale, like one day I'll wake up and see that it didn't happen. That it's all a dream. How do you get it all?

I just wanna leave everything behind, sell and go see the world! So maybe this is what's having it all means. Not being tied down to anything or anyone. Are we really made for relationships or is it that we just pursue it because everybody does it? Are we happy when we are a twosome? Here comes the question, deal with it! I shouldn't have open my mouth, but I do this to see the real you! Nevertheless it is the real me you still have left to see. I'm not sure if anyone has seen the real me when I think about it. Maybe it's not meant to be shown. Or maybe you all who read see the real me. I don't know how you see me, in fact I don't know how anybody sees me...




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