Christmas Circus..

Now it's the time to get into spirit. As for myself I have a bit to go just yet. But the cookies and candy are in it's place! And for the gifts that's another story peoples!

Yesterday Lena and I was out shopping and as always I ended up buying a lot of stuff for myself. I did buy some gifts, but I guess it is time to realize that gift's aren't my strongest side! I wish it was. But maybe it's that I'm fastidious?! It's not that I demand the perfect gift, but when I buy something for another person I want that person to be happy. And yes, maybe they always are. But I don't know..
Anyways i bought some, to my mom, sister and Monica. I still got my brother left. It's hard buying something for an 18 year old. But I have a little idea of what. But they didn't have it in the store. so I wait. And you know how patient I am! MAN!
And all these people who run around the city crazy for not getting it all done in time. You walk in line, stand in line and think in line. It kind of reminds me of a circus sometimes! Nevertheless all the cry babies. And that's not all meant for the babies, it's the ones whom are a little elder you know.
At times it seems like Christmas always brings out the craziness, but don't get me wrong. It's good times too!

As I work at a gym I see all the early bird special peoples who actually do exercise in the morning, and we're talking 7am peoples! I admire all of you who actually get your asses up and running so early. Yes I'm here too, but I just sit here and smile.

And so comes Christmas, every year it sneaks up on me. Like I didn't know it and suddenly it's here.

This year Christmas is not the same, it's the first one without dad. Not that we haven't celebrated Christmas without him before. He was a Captain on a boat, so he had every other summer and Christmas at home. But it's different this year around, because he's not coming back at all. I'm sad, but I know that he's in peace now and that helps me trough the days. And he wouldn't wish that I'd go around and be sad all the time either. He just wants me to be happy and do my best. And I do think a lot about him and the rest of my family. It's sad not having a dad to ask for advice. But I still have my mom and other family around me. But when I see others with their dads and TV-shows and what not I feel it in my stomach! Like a big stone just sinking down trough my insides!
I miss and love you dad!!

But I know that everything will be alright, like the song from The Killers.



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