Thoughts...

I do not know why I think so much. At times my mind just take over and goes wild. I have all these thoughts and things in my head and it is starting to crush my persona.
Everybody has stories, thoughts, family, illness, happiness, love, friends and so on. But some people are good at not letting stuff get to them. How do you do this? Is it something they have inside or is it something you learn over years.

And the difference between men and women! Man they are huge. I was out on a Sunday stroll yesterday with a friend of mine. He has both his legs and a head on the top. He told me things that I have not been thinking about. As that you can not be friends with your ex when you are a guy! So all of you guys who are "best friends" with your ex, is that because you want to have some sort of control? And if you keep having sex with your ex you are still in some kind of relationship?

He also have good values and a good job. Getting youngsters to understand why they should not use drugs. He is a project manager in a new position. Made from youth organizations. As he travels around to Stockholm, London and other cities for conventions and listen to different people talk about how to keep youngsters away from drugs. When we went to school they had a project called "From Heaven To Hell". Where police tried to scare us to not try drugs. I will not say that it worked. Because I think that people that works with that should have experience.
It is easier for young people to see whats what if you show them reality! In these days I think a lot of people agree to that. They also know that if you do not have a network around you you can easily hit rock bottom! But where do the limit go?

As for myself I truly think that a person will try and do whatever he or she wants. Not thinking about the consequences during that time. But maybe open their eyes after a while and see. That people do go under, some die and some live their whole life as drug addicts. Others will go trough life without the people around them even knowing about their "wildlife".
These people has in others eyes just experienced with drugs. And people say, "I knew you would be alright. You are a strong person." That is just a comforting thought for yourselves!

When you think you know someone. Do you really ever? I am wondering about that so often that it has almost taken over my whole brain. I have people, friends, exes and family that say they know me. But I am not sure they do. Why do they not see how I am feeling? I know that some of it may be my own fault. Because I come out as a strong, harsh and cold person. But as i said before, I have feelings. I am a sensitive person. I am not as strong as everybody thinks. But they get this perception of me because I always smile. So I have to let my guard down. Let them see the real me. How do you do this?

I have been trough so much in my short life. I have seen the dark side of life. Looked into peoples darkest places. It is not a pleasant thing! But i still live. Like they say, I am "strong". But what defines strong? Is it that you have to experience horrible things?
That is not right. Some things that I have been trough I would not wish for my enemy! And this time around it is seeing my father getting more and more sick. It is heartbreaking! But it also gives me a new perspective to life. And i know that there is a lot of people whom i know that been through the same. Life goes on whatever. It is a harsh cold world! But it is for the sake of the people around us we do that. I known people who laid down and died because they lost their loved ones. When you only have one other person in life it is hard to go on with your life. I truly understand that!


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