Back to reality

After Ester it all goes back to the way it were. To be honest it's a little boring at the moment. Life seems to stand completely still and there's no challenges in my days anymore. I'm guessing I'm in a kind of a Cul De Sac and that things get brighter soon. There's no end to my endless optimism as you who knows me know. So I just get back in the game.

I've spent my Easter in Tønsberg with my mom, sister (Annemette) and brother (Petter). We had an Easter with lamb roast and one driving certificate less. All in all it's been a good one. I loved that we were together! My brother and I had a long talk after Saturday night out. We sat in the kitchen and talked about dad, mom and just things. I really miss dad and being home and finding a Christmas card from him that I'd gotten years ago made me remember him like he was before the cancer. I got this image in my head and when I think of him now that's what I see. And it makes me happy, because before I just saw this awful image of a sick man lying in bed. It didn't look like dad at all. He's my hero in so many ways, but still I do feel that I didn't know him.
My brother said that to my sister and I, when we talked about presents and such. But when I think of this, it's somewhat true. But we all have to put in a little afford to get to know people. I do feel like no one really knows the real me. I'm thinking that they have a perception of me, but I'm not sure if it's the real me or not. I'm guessing you whom are reading this knows me better than a lot of friends and family. But I am what you see, except that I'm not as cold as many of you think. Even tho I come forward as a person without feelings that always smile, there's a lot hidden behind my mask. In fact I'm very often sad and feeling lonely. And for me it's hard to bring myself to tell the people in my life this. I don't want to be a burden to anyone and I do feel that that's exactly what I am when I nag about problems. I also knows that this is not always the case, but it's how I feel.

I MISS YOU....




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